3 tricks

Sometimes I hear things and I'm like...seriously...that's pretty fucking amazing.  I say sometimes because there are other times when I hear things that are supposed to be amazing and just aren't, like the Bumpit.  Here are three things that just might change your life:

1) Murphy's Oil Soap - this is a magic stain fighter!!  Yes, the same Murphy's Oil Soap that is made to get wood floors clean.  Well, my mom used to work in the hospitality business and because she's generally a friendly person, she made friends with some of the housekeepers.  One day she must have been talking about stains or had a giant stain...who knows...but one of the housekeepers told her to put some Murphy's Oil Soap on it before putting it in the washing machine.  She was skeptical, but tried it and POOF, stain gone.  Want more proof?  My mom and I had a Girls Weekend at the family cabin with her friends and my friends (I think the ages ranged from 24 to 65 or something).  Essentially we started drinking wine at 11am, then went wine tasting in Leavenworth, then went back to the cabin and drank more wine.  While sitting down to eat dinner at 11:45pm my friend accidentally knocked over a glass of red wine on the white table cloth.  In the morning my mom used her magic Murphy's Oil Soap on the table cloth, threw it in the wash and POOF, stain gone.  Wondrous!

2) Ice Cubes + Table Salt + Dirty Coffee Pot = Super Clean Coffee Pot!
So, The Husband and I were being domestic the other night...cooking dinner together, doing the dishes, etc.  He grabs the coffee pot and fills it with ice then dumps a whole bunch of table salt in it and I'm all "Jigga What?" and he's all "Jigga Who? I'm cleaning the coffee pot"!  So, apparently he learned this while working in one of his food service jobs.  You put the ice in the pot, then dump salt (so it coats the cubes) and twirl it around so the cubes circle the pot.  While he's doing this I immediately think of his favorite part of Finding Nemo when that little octopus says one of her tentacles is shorter than the others, but you can't tell "especially when I twirl like this...".  He does an amazing impression.  Anyway, once he's done twirling the ice cubes he rinses out the coffee pot and voila...it's spotless.

3) Maroon Underwear - the best color to wear under white or light colored clothing.  Seriously!  While in college at the University of New Hampshire I did two things that were very out of character for me: I joined a sorority - Chi Omega to be exact - and I got a job at Express.  Who did I think I was back in 1998?  OK, so back to maroon.   The only thing I learned while working at Express was the maroon bra trick.  Most women think that nude is the way to go when wearing white so you can't see your underwear/bra, but those women are wrong.  I would encourage my lady friends (or my guy friends who might wear thin, white, linen pants from time to time) to go to the lingerie department and find some maroon bras and underwear.  If you don't believe me you could always get an old maroon shirt or sock (or something maroon) and hold it underneath a white shirt.  I sold a shit ton of maroon bras while working at Express...I'm just saying!

(Hanky Panky Pants)

Those are my 3 tricks for you.  Marvel...Use...Share!