3 tricks

Sometimes I hear things and I'm like...seriously...that's pretty fucking amazing.  I say sometimes because there are other times when I hear things that are supposed to be amazing and just aren't, like the Bumpit.  Here are three things that just might change your life:

1) Murphy's Oil Soap - this is a magic stain fighter!!  Yes, the same Murphy's Oil Soap that is made to get wood floors clean.  Well, my mom used to work in the hospitality business and because she's generally a friendly person, she made friends with some of the housekeepers.  One day she must have been talking about stains or had a giant stain...who knows...but one of the housekeepers told her to put some Murphy's Oil Soap on it before putting it in the washing machine.  She was skeptical, but tried it and POOF, stain gone.  Want more proof?  My mom and I had a Girls Weekend at the family cabin with her friends and my friends (I think the ages ranged from 24 to 65 or something).  Essentially we started drinking wine at 11am, then went wine tasting in Leavenworth, then went back to the cabin and drank more wine.  While sitting down to eat dinner at 11:45pm my friend accidentally knocked over a glass of red wine on the white table cloth.  In the morning my mom used her magic Murphy's Oil Soap on the table cloth, threw it in the wash and POOF, stain gone.  Wondrous!

2) Ice Cubes + Table Salt + Dirty Coffee Pot = Super Clean Coffee Pot!
So, The Husband and I were being domestic the other night...cooking dinner together, doing the dishes, etc.  He grabs the coffee pot and fills it with ice then dumps a whole bunch of table salt in it and I'm all "Jigga What?" and he's all "Jigga Who? I'm cleaning the coffee pot"!  So, apparently he learned this while working in one of his food service jobs.  You put the ice in the pot, then dump salt (so it coats the cubes) and twirl it around so the cubes circle the pot.  While he's doing this I immediately think of his favorite part of Finding Nemo when that little octopus says one of her tentacles is shorter than the others, but you can't tell "especially when I twirl like this...".  He does an amazing impression.  Anyway, once he's done twirling the ice cubes he rinses out the coffee pot and voila...it's spotless.

3) Maroon Underwear - the best color to wear under white or light colored clothing.  Seriously!  While in college at the University of New Hampshire I did two things that were very out of character for me: I joined a sorority - Chi Omega to be exact - and I got a job at Express.  Who did I think I was back in 1998?  OK, so back to maroon.   The only thing I learned while working at Express was the maroon bra trick.  Most women think that nude is the way to go when wearing white so you can't see your underwear/bra, but those women are wrong.  I would encourage my lady friends (or my guy friends who might wear thin, white, linen pants from time to time) to go to the lingerie department and find some maroon bras and underwear.  If you don't believe me you could always get an old maroon shirt or sock (or something maroon) and hold it underneath a white shirt.  I sold a shit ton of maroon bras while working at Express...I'm just saying!

(Hanky Panky Pants)

Those are my 3 tricks for you.  Marvel...Use...Share!

DIY holiday

It's snowing as I type...so fitting!!

So, yesterday The Husband and I were out and about doing a little Christmas shopping and I couldn't resist running into Michael's to see if there was anything that inspired my crafty self.  I thought of the black, glittery skull that we bought for like $8 a couple years ago for Halloween...I could do that.  And so it began...here is what I bought:

I know what you're thinking...a "B"...really?  Yes, really...it's my mantel damnit, don't judge me.

So, I took over The Husband's workshop in the garage and made it a glittery wonderland.  I'm sure he'll love that later!  Well after about 2 minutes I realized that I needed that really fine glitter, not the kindergarten friendly giant glitter that I bought, but Michael's is too far away to go back, so the giant glitter would have to do.  Styrofoam (again, don't judge me) + spray adhesive = sticky, but not sticky enough for giant glitter, mess.  My fingers still have spray adhesive on them 3 hours later and it has now turned brownish-black...awesome.

Here is what the mantel looked like while the Michael's contraband was still sitting on the table:

 

(The Husband's grandpa built the mantel...cool, right?)

So, I did my little, crafty project and felt pretty good about myself!  The Husband brought me the small box of decorations we have (it's so sad how few decorations we actually have...maybe that is what inspired this project?) so I could decorate the mantel completely.  Here is the final result:

The wide shot

Glittery Styrofoam

Glittery "B" and pretty ornaments

So, this is our Christmas mantel!!  Once our Christmas stockings are hung it will be 100% complete and Santa can squeeze down our tiny chimney.  I think the entire project only cost like $25, which is pretty good considering spray adhesive is pricey.

Happy decorating!!!

BOOM

I bought a deck of Boom Boom! Cards a while back, probably a year ago...at least.  Boom Boom! Cards are like "random acts of kindness" assignments, which doesn't really make them so random...oh well.

Rules of the Boom Boom Revolution:
1. Register your deck online - done
2. Complete the assignment on the card (26 to choose from) - 2 done
3. Go online and write about the experience...reactions, feelings, blah blah - 1 done
4. Pass the completed card on to someone else for them to complete - 1 done
5. Hope the person you passed the card to actually completes it and then goes online and writes about it - none done
6. Track how far your card goes - never going to happen
7. Complete the deck - = (

So, the first one I did was pretty basic, or so I assumed.  I had to buy a stranger a cup of coffee.  It's really hard to do that without someone thinking you're hitting on them or that you're just a total freak.  This assignment took me 4 days.  Finally I found a dad-looking guy to buy coffee for.  I was at my regular coffee shop before it closed and became a fucking AT&T...yuck!...the gentleman target was in line behind me while I was paying.  This one really only works at a coffee shop that stays busy because there are at least 2 employees; one ringing you up and one making the drinks.  The barista behind the bar asked him what he wanted before the barista ringing me up was finished so I told her to put what he ordered on my card.  I knew her because I was a regular, so she just rolled with it.  Apparently I picked the wrong day to do my good deed because he was ordering for 3 other people!  The barista just kept looking at me like "should I keep putting these drinks on your card???".  I paid for all the drinks...it was around $16, but it was totally worth it.  He was shocked and speechless and grateful.  When he finally composed his thoughts, his words were jumbled and awkward.  He asked what I did for work, if I lived in the area, if my parents knew how great their daughter was, why I did this, if I knew how much this made his day and how he couldn't wait to tell his co-workers and lastly what my name was.  It was sweet and actually made my day!!

The second one was less fulfilling.  The assignment was to reconnect with someone you lost touch with or had a falling out with.  I invited an ex-friend for coffee.  This friendship ended over a guy...which is just stupid, but whatever.  I needed some liquid courage for this meeting so went for a drink with some great friends from work.  Some advice - going to a bar with friends before meeting someone who wasn't a good friend to you is not a good idea (I was 17 minutes late and the bar was only a block away).  It was awkward and forced, but moments of it were kindly familiar.  I think I was expecting an apology or some sort of acknowledgment of bad-frienditis, but received neither.  I'm not sure if I have a false sense of the kind of friend I am, but I was sure there was some small void in her life without me in it.  It sucks when a relationship ends without explanation, but when a friendship ends with that relationship and you lose 2 people you were close with it kind of stings.  And by "kind of" I mean it is a thorn in your foot that hurts every time you take a step and no matter how hard you try to find the thorn you can't.  This "assignment" did not leave me feeling as great as the previous one.

There are 24 more acts of kindness that I have not yet completed and there is a good chance that I won't attempt any of them.  HOWEVER, there is a deck of these cards that is geared toward tweens/teens and I think it would make an awesome gift.  The assignments are much easier and are things they can do at school, like eat lunch with someone sitting alone.  So nice! http://boomboomcards.com/

The end.
 





   

pause...rewind...play

With Christmas and the season of gift giving fast approaching I started to think about gifts that used to be considered "thoughtful".  These gifts didn't cost a lot of money, but you knew someone put a good amount of time or effort into it.  For example, your favorite homemade dessert, a personal drawing/painting/photograph, or a personalized mix CD.

A well planned mix CD was a thoughtful gift in my book because there was some real work behind it.  You had to look through all of your CDs, pick the perfect songs, and then burn them one at a time onto a blank disc. Lets not even dig up the days of making someone a mix tape.  My god...what a nightmare.  Do you remember sitting by the radio waiting for your favorite new song to come on and then quickly recording it all the while trying not to tape that annoying DJ talking right up until the song started? 

OK, so there was a big difference between regular, mix tape/CD making people and me.  So, my first serious boyfriend was during high school and I thought we were the greatest couple ever.  I mean he was good looking and nice to me, my friends liked him and my parents didn't...what could be better, right?  Well, he is not The Husband, so we all know how that relationship turned out.  Anyway, I once made him a mix CD, but with it came a binder.  Oh yes, a binder!!  What was in that binder you ask??  Well, the lyrics to every song that was on the mix CD...obviously (and some pictures for that added personal touch)!  I'm pretty sure we weren't dating at the time, so I didn't want to give him the wrong idea, but it was a lot of songs that had some sort of meaning. A lot of thought went into every song on that CD.   I do remember the work that went into typing up all of the lyrics though, because this was before lyrics.com.  If I was lucky the CD had an insert with all the song lyrics, but I'm never that lucky.  There was definitely a lot of pause...rewind...play going on.  I remember having the hardest time with all the weird lyrics to Stairway to Heaven.  I should be more embarrassed right now, but I no longer have any shame.  Sometimes I just made shit up if I had no idea, like he EVER read the binder...

Speaking of making up lyrics to songs, I find The Husband doing it all the time.  Well, he isn't making up words as much as he's pretending to quickly mouth the words he doesn't know.  A few examples of our lyrical improv are:

I was a highway man
Along the coach roads I did ride
Thorn and thistle by my side

Chiggity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain starts lickin'
Watching X-Files with no lights on
The dolly may's on
I hope the smoking man's in this one

And one of my personal favorites from an old friend...

Simmian the whale  (oh the whale)
Simmian the whale  (oh the whale)
Simmian my whale
(that would be Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root)

If you're still reading...this is your chance to tell me what lyrics always throw you off.  I know it's hard to think of things on the spot, but I have faith.

oh, hank

The Husband and I have a cat named Hank.  She is a beautiful Siamese, she's very chatty and loves to follow us around.  Most of the time it's cute, like when I'm cooking dinner or The Husband is tinkering with something.  However, sometimes it can be a little uncomfortable like when she wants to come in the bathroom with you, but the alternative is her sitting outside the door, crying and jumping up to try to open the door (we have those handle doorknobs, not the round ones so she is actually able to open them).

No matter where she is in the house or what mischief she's getting into, she will come when you call her name.  When we're big time loving on her we call her Hanky Panky Pants...I think she really likes that.  How do I know that?  Well, she purrs...duh, and she sprawls out on her back with her legs straight out and her toes pointed.  It's really cute.  I have drawn a picture so you understand what it looks like from my perspective.

She also runs crazy laps around the house.  Well, more like sprints from one end of the house to the other (including the basement).  This is the only point that she will not come when we call her.  There is no stopping her crazy cat exercise.  Having grown up with my mother who is convinced that animals can see ghosts I, too, might believe some of that craziness.  I'd like to believe that our house, built in 1907, has some spooky history.  So, for now, we tell ourselves that Hank is just chasing the ghosts around the house because it's a fun game they play.  That's normal, right?

and so it begins...

The Husband and I haven't even owned our home for two years and it is a completely different house than when we bought it.  He is a crazy Mr. Fix It...and it isn't like there was anything wrong with it, he just can't stop creating new projects.  Don't get me wrong, I love his enthusiasm and his superhero ability to get things done pretty quickly...but can't we just enjoy our adorable home?

Isn't she pretty?  I just assume she's a girl...because she's classy and loves to throw parties.

So far we've replaced all the windows, painted the entry way, living room and dining room, changed out most of the light fixtures, replaced all the electrical plugs (from painted over to new and white), insulated the attic, put in a small kitchen pantry, removed the second kitchen from the basement and made it into a master suite, removed the wall between the downstairs bedroom and living room to create a big rec room, built a laundry closet, painted and carpeted the downstairs rec room and master suite, painted the downstairs fireplace, installed a homemade mantle on the fireplace upstairs (thanks Jack), cut down the Laurel bushes between our house and the neighbors and built a new fence, built a picket fence out front, built a fence and gate in the back of the house, planted about 30 small flowers, removed the old grass, put in new soil and hydro-seeded the lawn.  Holy shit, writing it all out makes it seem like we barely got to be newlyweds in our first year.  Although it seems like there is always a project, I wouldn't change anything we've done.  It's really a fantastic home and we can't wait to raise a family here!!

Oh yeah, if you need home improvement advice or a consult...ask The Husband...I will loan him out because I'm really nice (and proud of him).